“table for one?” the hostess asks looking around me for another person to magically appear.
The restaurant is simple and elegant. Not a high class place where I would need a reservation, but also not the basic family style ones you see everywhere.
I smile at the hostess, “yep, just…”
“Table for two.”
A deep voice says behind me. Right behind me.
I shudder. What the actual fuck.

I decide to turn and look at him, only to see him grinning broadly and holding a tray of snacks.
I shake my head and try to hide the smile forming.
“I know you said no..” he begins slowly, “but…I also took a guess and figured you haven’t eaten yet today”
He sets down the tray on the small table, waiting for my reply.
“And you would be correct. Not hungry.”I say softly
Once we get comfortable on the couch, he leans in giving me another kiss.

i sit quietly alone
trying to feel
something
anything
i can’t keep feeling nothing
numb may be part of 
surviving

Taking another sip of the tea, I decide to focus on gathering information. Right? More information equals a more informed decision, especially one that will be so life altering…

“Alright, tell me everything.”

I feel a hand on my arm.
"Hi" a deep voice says, "Can i buy your coffee?"

A Choice.
learning to Embrace the Dark.

What did I do to deserve this type of commitment, I’ll never fully understand. With everything I’ve fought through in life, to finally have this man. One willing and eager to stand at my side, to weather all the storms of thought and emotion that comes with who I have become, its overwhelming at times.

Some people say that book stores are on the out…but I don’t think they ever really will. There is something about walking into a bookstore or even a library that calls to a deep part of our soul. The smell of new books is just as intoxicating as the typical ‘new car smell’.

Cleaning out my grandfathers home after his funeral, I come across an unexpected sight.
What do I do with crates of old artifacts? Was my grandfather actually the secret museum curator that he said he was on his deathbed?